[Maybe he's good for her, too. It's taken Matt an inordinate amount of time to come to realise that.] Is there even anything for you, back home? [Everyone's so keen to leave this station, and Matt understands that. But home wasn't always better.]
[For a while he can't hear anything except for the high-pitched buzzing of the clipper. He sort of just sits there quietly until it's moved away from his ear.]
Why don't we just. Fix up this place or find somewhere else to settle then? We could start over. [Frank might or might not appreciate that this is a lot, coming from someone who has never left his city and hates space.]
Of course I would. I never wanted to leave. [Nowhere else without the lifeblood of New York, without the constant vibrations of trains running underground and water tanks rattling on windy rooftops would ever really feel like home. Mornings without coffees and bagels, without people walking into him and blaming him for being blind - it's a big change. And yet.]
But if it's between the Kitchen and Elektra. [Matt swallows and blinks slowly.] I want to be with Elektra.
[He was hoping he didn't have to answer that. His eyes flicker nervously and he licks his bottom lip before giving a tentative answer.]
Nobody here's trying to kill us. Nothing like the Hand was, anyway. [He feels like Hell's Kitchen has been nothing but bad to him lately.] Maybe they can't come after us this far.
[ he's glad he's facing the back of matt's head even if the other man can't see him anyway. he's glaring daggers. he shuts off the clippers for a second to get himself back under control, heaving out an audible sigh and shaking his head. ]
This place has killed us. It can twist you up in unnatural ways. At least we can fight back in New York. Here we're sitting ducks.
[ frank lets out a grunt and gets back to the haircut, working across and over matt's other ear to his sideburn. ]
[Matt can feel the glare, the tension in the air, and for a moment he doesn't say anything. He seems a little nervous sitting there but he's not moving around too much.]
Fighting's what got us killed. [Matt doesn't know what he's asking for when he's wondering why they can't go somewhere where there's no fighting. How difficult it would be for them - even himself. But it sounds nice to just not have to worry about all that for a while.]
That's not what I'm saying. [Matt moves his head a little to turn towards Frank before forcing himself to take a deep breath and keep his head facing forward, irritation evident in his voice. If they stop fighting things will just get worse for other people. Sometimes they just have to be the ones who suffer. That's a price Matt thought he was willing to pay, at least before he's lost Elektra twice.]
Maybe I could. [His voice is soft enough to almost get lost in the buzz of the clippers.] You don't know what life could be like if you'd stopped fighting. You never stopped.
[ it comes as a low growl in warning. he starts in on the top of matt's head, switching guards so he doesn't take too much off. even when they're at odds and he has the physical upperhand, he won't take advantage. and yet matt still feels like he knows frank castle, in and out. ]
I gave up, you know. Didn't think I was ever gonna unravel it, what happened to me and my family. If it wasn't for— [ yeah he's not sure he wants matt to know about micro and madani. glossing over that. ] I had help. I finally got to look the sick fuck in the eye who gunned down my babies while he bled out. You're right, okay? You're right, I've been fighting my whole life, but... the war's ended for me. Homeland Security gave me a second chance, a fresh identity. I can still start over. You don't get to decide that I'm done here, and I'm sure as fuck not about to let you give up.
[If Matt's anxious about what Frank is doing to his hair, he's not letting anything on. He just tries not to fidget and listen to words cutting in and out because of the loud buzzing.]
If the war's ended then why can't you accept starting over here? [Here where everyone's still intact, precarious and tenuous as that situation might be. Matt just wants to hold her hand and go out on his roof in the rain, twirl her around in his arms and hear her bitch about it being wet and cold and the mess it's making of her hair while he lets his body heat seep out of his clothes and into her skin.
Frank doesn't know that Matt can still have that if they find their way back to New York. Nobody does.] I never said I'd stop helping us find a way back, anyway.
Because it's not ended here, it's ended there. Everyone else needs to get home too, Red, this isn't just about you and El.
[ but he goes quiet a few moments, letting the rage that bubbled up dissipate. he seems satisfied that matt is going to help, even if it seems reluctant on his part. it won't be, not once the first totally fucked up thing happens to either one of them. ]
She wants to get back too. [She knows what happened to her, according to Matthew. But she wants to go back anyway. Maybe she thinks she can change things, that it doesn't have to turn out this way. Matt...
Doesn't know. He trusts that if she could do things differently to change the outcome, if there's some way she could survive what happened, she would. But he also believes in God's will. And if it was her time, then nothing Frank or Elektra or Matt could do would change that.]
[Matt can still feel the fine hairs on his skin prickling and tickling him, and he’s doing a bit of scratching and brushing of his own once he thinks Frank is done.] Yeah, sure, it’s using premium grade plastic instead of the cheap stuff. Much better.
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[ he sighs, trying to cover it up as he cuts over matt's ear. ]
You know there's not. But there could be. [ maybe ]
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Why don't we just. Fix up this place or find somewhere else to settle then? We could start over. [Frank might or might not appreciate that this is a lot, coming from someone who has never left his city and hates space.]
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You wouldn't miss anything about New York? I remember when you told me you could never leave.
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But if it's between the Kitchen and Elektra. [Matt swallows and blinks slowly.] I want to be with Elektra.
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[ it sucks when someone listens to what you say, doesn't it, matt? ]
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Nobody here's trying to kill us. Nothing like the Hand was, anyway. [He feels like Hell's Kitchen has been nothing but bad to him lately.] Maybe they can't come after us this far.
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This place has killed us. It can twist you up in unnatural ways. At least we can fight back in New York. Here we're sitting ducks.
[ frank lets out a grunt and gets back to the haircut, working across and over matt's other ear to his sideburn. ]
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Fighting's what got us killed. [Matt doesn't know what he's asking for when he's wondering why they can't go somewhere where there's no fighting. How difficult it would be for them - even himself. But it sounds nice to just not have to worry about all that for a while.]
Even you must be tired of fighting.
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[ that hadn't worked out for frank so well last time. matt should know - he was there. ]
What happened to the fight bein' a part of you? You can't separate the man from the devil, remember?
[ pepperidge farm remembers. ]
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Maybe I could. [His voice is soft enough to almost get lost in the buzz of the clippers.] You don't know what life could be like if you'd stopped fighting. You never stopped.
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[ it comes as a low growl in warning. he starts in on the top of matt's head, switching guards so he doesn't take too much off. even when they're at odds and he has the physical upperhand, he won't take advantage. and yet matt still feels like he knows frank castle, in and out. ]
I gave up, you know. Didn't think I was ever gonna unravel it, what happened to me and my family. If it wasn't for— [ yeah he's not sure he wants matt to know about micro and madani. glossing over that. ] I had help. I finally got to look the sick fuck in the eye who gunned down my babies while he bled out. You're right, okay? You're right, I've been fighting my whole life, but... the war's ended for me. Homeland Security gave me a second chance, a fresh identity. I can still start over. You don't get to decide that I'm done here, and I'm sure as fuck not about to let you give up.
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If the war's ended then why can't you accept starting over here? [Here where everyone's still intact, precarious and tenuous as that situation might be. Matt just wants to hold her hand and go out on his roof in the rain, twirl her around in his arms and hear her bitch about it being wet and cold and the mess it's making of her hair while he lets his body heat seep out of his clothes and into her skin.
Frank doesn't know that Matt can still have that if they find their way back to New York. Nobody does.] I never said I'd stop helping us find a way back, anyway.
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[ but he goes quiet a few moments, letting the rage that bubbled up dissipate. he seems satisfied that matt is going to help, even if it seems reluctant on his part. it won't be, not once the first totally fucked up thing happens to either one of them. ]
Good, 'cause I need you in this.
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Doesn't know. He trusts that if she could do things differently to change the outcome, if there's some way she could survive what happened, she would. But he also believes in God's will. And if it was her time, then nothing Frank or Elektra or Matt could do would change that.]
Guess she doesn't like the food here either.
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I dunno, it's getting better, don't you think?
[ or is he just getting used to it? either way. ]
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