That's not what I'm saying. [Matt moves his head a little to turn towards Frank before forcing himself to take a deep breath and keep his head facing forward, irritation evident in his voice. If they stop fighting things will just get worse for other people. Sometimes they just have to be the ones who suffer. That's a price Matt thought he was willing to pay, at least before he's lost Elektra twice.]
Maybe I could. [His voice is soft enough to almost get lost in the buzz of the clippers.] You don't know what life could be like if you'd stopped fighting. You never stopped.
[ it comes as a low growl in warning. he starts in on the top of matt's head, switching guards so he doesn't take too much off. even when they're at odds and he has the physical upperhand, he won't take advantage. and yet matt still feels like he knows frank castle, in and out. ]
I gave up, you know. Didn't think I was ever gonna unravel it, what happened to me and my family. If it wasn't for— [ yeah he's not sure he wants matt to know about micro and madani. glossing over that. ] I had help. I finally got to look the sick fuck in the eye who gunned down my babies while he bled out. You're right, okay? You're right, I've been fighting my whole life, but... the war's ended for me. Homeland Security gave me a second chance, a fresh identity. I can still start over. You don't get to decide that I'm done here, and I'm sure as fuck not about to let you give up.
[If Matt's anxious about what Frank is doing to his hair, he's not letting anything on. He just tries not to fidget and listen to words cutting in and out because of the loud buzzing.]
If the war's ended then why can't you accept starting over here? [Here where everyone's still intact, precarious and tenuous as that situation might be. Matt just wants to hold her hand and go out on his roof in the rain, twirl her around in his arms and hear her bitch about it being wet and cold and the mess it's making of her hair while he lets his body heat seep out of his clothes and into her skin.
Frank doesn't know that Matt can still have that if they find their way back to New York. Nobody does.] I never said I'd stop helping us find a way back, anyway.
Because it's not ended here, it's ended there. Everyone else needs to get home too, Red, this isn't just about you and El.
[ but he goes quiet a few moments, letting the rage that bubbled up dissipate. he seems satisfied that matt is going to help, even if it seems reluctant on his part. it won't be, not once the first totally fucked up thing happens to either one of them. ]
She wants to get back too. [She knows what happened to her, according to Matthew. But she wants to go back anyway. Maybe she thinks she can change things, that it doesn't have to turn out this way. Matt...
Doesn't know. He trusts that if she could do things differently to change the outcome, if there's some way she could survive what happened, she would. But he also believes in God's will. And if it was her time, then nothing Frank or Elektra or Matt could do would change that.]
[Matt can still feel the fine hairs on his skin prickling and tickling him, and he’s doing a bit of scratching and brushing of his own once he thinks Frank is done.] Yeah, sure, it’s using premium grade plastic instead of the cheap stuff. Much better.
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Maybe I could. [His voice is soft enough to almost get lost in the buzz of the clippers.] You don't know what life could be like if you'd stopped fighting. You never stopped.
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[ it comes as a low growl in warning. he starts in on the top of matt's head, switching guards so he doesn't take too much off. even when they're at odds and he has the physical upperhand, he won't take advantage. and yet matt still feels like he knows frank castle, in and out. ]
I gave up, you know. Didn't think I was ever gonna unravel it, what happened to me and my family. If it wasn't for— [ yeah he's not sure he wants matt to know about micro and madani. glossing over that. ] I had help. I finally got to look the sick fuck in the eye who gunned down my babies while he bled out. You're right, okay? You're right, I've been fighting my whole life, but... the war's ended for me. Homeland Security gave me a second chance, a fresh identity. I can still start over. You don't get to decide that I'm done here, and I'm sure as fuck not about to let you give up.
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If the war's ended then why can't you accept starting over here? [Here where everyone's still intact, precarious and tenuous as that situation might be. Matt just wants to hold her hand and go out on his roof in the rain, twirl her around in his arms and hear her bitch about it being wet and cold and the mess it's making of her hair while he lets his body heat seep out of his clothes and into her skin.
Frank doesn't know that Matt can still have that if they find their way back to New York. Nobody does.] I never said I'd stop helping us find a way back, anyway.
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[ but he goes quiet a few moments, letting the rage that bubbled up dissipate. he seems satisfied that matt is going to help, even if it seems reluctant on his part. it won't be, not once the first totally fucked up thing happens to either one of them. ]
Good, 'cause I need you in this.
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Doesn't know. He trusts that if she could do things differently to change the outcome, if there's some way she could survive what happened, she would. But he also believes in God's will. And if it was her time, then nothing Frank or Elektra or Matt could do would change that.]
Guess she doesn't like the food here either.
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I dunno, it's getting better, don't you think?
[ or is he just getting used to it? either way. ]
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